Overheard at the new pirate orientation…

"Arr, rules, they be more like guidelines. You best be checkin' yer HR packet for the details. And Thursday morn' be the sexual harassment training. Tis be important that all new scaliwags be knowin' how to properly engage in sexual harassment afore we reach Tortuga."

"And now, if ye be turnin' to page seven of yer pamphlets, I'll be outlinin' the stock option program and how ye can earn bonus shares o' booty for valor and such in the midst o' boardin' enemy vessels. The easy-ta-use BootyTracker™ system presents you with a rundown o' accumulated loot, vacation days, and medical benefits. Aye, we cover full dental and prosthetic limbs, includin' a trained monkey ta help ya if ye be too injured to work."