A rose by any other name would stab as painfully.

In the year 3497, the Most Sarcastic and Contempt-Filled Empire completely routed the forces of the Bug-Ugly Squidheaded Freaks at the battle of Whew, That Was An Ass-Kicking, conquering You Call That A Homeworld? and ending the brief period of hostilities. Military historians generally agree that the intelligence provided by the Booger and the Dust Bunny during their fly-bys of the system was instrumental to the positioning of the stealth battleships Russell's Teapot, Invisible Pink Unicorn, Flying Spaghetti Monster, and Yahweh during the battle. The brunt of the offensive was dealt by the Dirty Joke and the Suspiciously Phallic Object, while effective avenues of enemy retreat were blocked by the Coca-Cola Bottle, the Roach Motel, the Velvet Elvis Painting, and the Your Mom. The latter was particularly noteworthy for its interception and capture of the Squidhead ship bearing the fleeing heads of state. By the time the recently-constructed Planetfucker-class dreadnaught Whatever You Squidheads Find Most Terrifying and/or Offensive got within range of You Call That A Homeworld?, the fighting was already over.