She was wearing other pants. Not only were they not the pants she had been wearing earlier, they were unlike any pants I'd ever seen before. It was hard to say they were really pants at all, other than the fact they were on her legs, or where her legs would have been were she wearing normal pants.

"What do you think? I just got 'em!" She smiled perkily and wiggled her butt in a pattern that made my eyes hurt.

"Uh, they're, uh, nice." I was having trouble following the shape of the pant legs. I kept starting with the usual two in the vicinity of her hips, and somewhere along the way another one showed up, resulting in three feet. Trying to find the start of the third leg was fruitless. Scanning up and down only made me question my sanity. As I stared at the three feet, it became clear to me that they were the left, the right, and the plerf. It was strange, because I'd never realized plerf was a direction before, but it seemed so clear.

The pants themselves were an odd color, sort of white, with crawling blotches of green and yellow, unless those weren't the pants. The color seemed to be out of space to sit in, flowing off the pants into the air around them. The aura of yellow looked very kingly, though I think would tire of it after looking at them for the twelfth night in a row.

"We should go out, I want to show 'em off!"

"Uh, okay." Noticing the fly, I realized that's what a crosscap looks like. The pockets seem quite roomy, and nothing was going to fall out of them, given that they were completely enclosed, but having to reach through the fourth dimension to get at their contents did seem a bit unwieldly.

"We could go to the game tonight."

"Game?" The tag on the back pocket, which appeared to have gotten bored and crawled around to the front by way of her innards, read "EL Y V'AI'S", and depicted a pair of shoggoths tearing apart a man wearing some decidedly eye-catching pants. I retrieved my caught eye, and watched the man twitch in agony as the shoggoths rended him limb from limb in their little ink-drawing way. The tag was a supple light brown leather, thin, and reminded me of people I hated who had disappeared.

"Hello?!" She balled up her fists and put them on her hips in exasperation. "The Pods are playing North-Southern tonight." Her hips got bored and started crawling up her fists. "We should totally go root for 'em. Woo-hoo! Miskatonic rules!"

The prospect of sitting next to said pants for a good two hours did not overly appeal to me. Still, it sounded better than figuring out what would happen if I tried dancing with her with those things around. "Sure, whatever, Cthulhu Ftaghn."