"Doctor, I've been feeling a pain in my left side for several days."

"Ah, I, see…hmm…it looks to be somewhat distended, about a hundred feet, I'd say, from over here."

"Yeah, that started around the same time. I also passed a booster rocket the other night."

"Ohw, that must have been a real bitch."

"Yeah, it took seven hours of plunging to unclog the toilet. There was solid fuel everywhere."

"So is this pain continuous, like a steady burning of hydrogen and oxygen, or short, sharp bursts, kind of like having a maneuvering rocket firing on your liver?"

"Pretty much continuous—a dull, burning ache."

"Well, based on the wing-shaped protrusions in front and back, I'd say you have a space shuttle impacted in your hip. Have you been hanging around NASA facilities recently?"

"No, but I did sleep on the tarmac at Edwards Air Force Base one night…"

"Ah, that's probably it. Don't worry, I think we can treat it non-invasively. I'll prescribe some budget cuts for you. They should get rid of it in a few days."

"Thanks, doc."