"Humans! I am Lord High Archivist Tch'kar of the Zentrax Consortium. We have come to your world to share the wealth of galactic information with you, but woe upon the madness we have found. Unlike all civilized species, you do not use the One True Media Format of Binary Transcoded Phase Shifting Compression. The supremacy of such encoding is obvious to all who study the mysteries of the universe."

"In your wretched wallowings, you do not even agree upon a single format for your sad species. These DVDs of yours are an abomination! We will give you but one chance to abandon your heresy and join the Consortium. Convert your recordings or be destroyed!"